Why Do I Love You So?
by KyoKyon
Summary: This is my first Gravitation fanfic-Yuki is in an accident...
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own any Gravitation character.

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Shuichi watched his lover breathe in and out.

Gently, he stroked Yuki's blond hair.

A sob caught in his throat.

"Yuki...won't you wake up?" he choked out, his lavender eyes filled with hot tears.

A hand gently laid itself on his shoulder and Shuichi looked up to see his best friend, Hiro looking down at him with sadness in his eyes.

"Don't..." he said hoarsely.

"Hiro...he...he's mad at me, isn't he? Why won't he wake up? Why?" Shuichi wailed like a small child and Hiro knelt in front of Shuichi and held the smaller boy tightly in his arms.

_Damn you, Yuki. Even now, you're still hurting him! Why, dammit!_

The man, Yuki Eiri, was lying peacefully on the hospital bed.

The only man whom Shuichi had ever loved with so much passion...

_Yuki was looking forward to going home._

_Dammit, seeing Tohma and Mike sure spoiled his day!_

_True, she was his sister but a bitchy one and that husband of her, Tohma, was no different. _

_More yakking about how Shuichi was bad for him._

"_Ch...they really have nothing to do..." Yuki muttered softly._

_He was looking forward to going home._

_Home..._

_He relished the word as it rolled off his tongue._

_Seeing his hyperactive pink lover made him feel like smiling._

_True, that twerp sometimes drove him mad but he was so endearing and not to mention that baka had managed to squeeze in his heart with his shameless antics._

"_YUKI IS MINE!" _

_He chuckled at that memory._

_Switching on the radio, he gave a faint smile as the familiar tune filled the car._

"_..The whisper that dissolves into the bustling crowd_

_makes the memories scattered underfoot blur together_

_The blazing of the street where I walk about lost (glaring one way)_

_illuminates me as coldly as though it freezes..."_

"_Damn..." he cursed when he dropped the lighter, which he was fumbling for._

_Groping downwards, he found the lighter and he got up again but his eyes widened in horror when his headlights illuminated a drunken man staggering onto the street right in front of him._

_Slamming on the brake and jerking the wheel to the left, he closed his eyes as he heard the loud scream of the tyres and the dull crash of the car crashing into something._

_He felt the world fall silent as he hung upside._

_What happened?_

_Through the red haze, he saw the broken glass shining in the streetlight._

_Shuichi...he thought and then his world blackened._

"Shuichi...you need to sleep..." Hiro said softly, gently shaking his best friend, who looked like hell had run him over.

"I...I can't. What if he wakes up and I'm not there?" Shuichi said shakily, his eyes tearing again.

"Dammit, Shuichi! At the rate you're going, you're going to collapse! Please...Shuichi...please..." Hiro pleaded, his anger melting away. He could never remain angry with his best friend for long. In fact, he could never be angry with him, period.

"...I'll keep waiting for you, no matter how far apart we are --

it's just the clock's ticking, but it resonates in my sleepless heart like

the sound of footsteps.

Even now I'm waiting; I stop here alone.

From where do you now see the moon we saw together on that day?"

Shuichi heard Hiro sigh in defeat and the soft click of the door when it closed.

Shuichi felt so exhausted.

So defeated.

4 days since the accident.

Yuki had not woken up since.

_Shuichi was waiting impatiently for 6 pm to come._

_Then he would grab his bag and then scream goodbye to his band mates and make his way to Yuki, who would be waiting for him._

_Of course, he would not SAY that he was waiting for Shuichi and would be typing at the laptop but Shuichi could not be fooled._

_Just thinking of Yuki made him feel so...hyper...and he embraced the fluttery feelings, which Yuki's name brought._

_The door of the studio opened and Shuichi looked up to see Tohma._

_His greeting died when he saw Tohma's face._

_Tohma looked bewildered and almost in shock._

_Yuki...the name bounced in his mind as his heart dropped all the way his feet._

"_Tohma..." he said, the fear choking him._

_He knew something was wrong with Yuki._

_Yuki..._

"_Yuki...he..." Tohma said._

_The ride to the hospital was a blur in his mind._

_He couldn't remember getting there but he remembered running as though his life depended on it._

_Yuki, Yuki, be alright, please, please..._

_His mind chanted as hot tears fell down his cheeks._

_The whiteness of the hospital was driving him mad as he ran towards the room._

_His hands threw the door open and he stood there, taking in the scene._

_His harsh breathing echoed in the room._

_Mike stood there, her eyes red and her eyes widened to see Shuichi there, the tears running down his face._

"_Yuki..." he said, his voice hoarse._

_His eyes could see no one but Yuki._

_Yuki was on the bed and his blond hair was tousled._

_Shuichi longed to run his hand through Yuki's hair and to hear his familiar voice say, "Baka...why're you disturbing me?" _

_His legs felt wobbly as he walked towards the bed._

"_Yuki..." he whispered hoarsely._

_He didn't answer._

_He looked so peaceful._

_Looking like an angel...a fallen angel..._

_There were no injuries evident on his face but Shuichi could see the cast on his wrist and his legs._

_The heart monitor beeping was the only sound evident in the room._

"_Yuki...you stupid jerk. Why weren't you driving carefully? You always scream about me being clumsy...look at you now...c'mon now, wake up..." he said shakily, his voice tearful._

"_Shuichi...he...the doctor said he wasn't sure when he would wake up...he won't wake up...stubborn fool...even now, he's being stubborn...stupid jerk...always making people around him worried..." Mika said, crying._

"_No...No! He'll wake up! He'll wake up!"_

"You'll wake up, I know you will!" Shuichi said, still looking at Yuki, his eyes determined.

"He's still there?" Tohma asked Mike, who nodded.

"Seems...seems Shuichi really loves Yuki." Mika said, sitting down on the plastic chair.

Tohma looked at his wife who looked up at him, smiling tiredly and sadly.

"We always were opposed to their relationship, weren't we? Brilliant Mika and Tohma, meddling in Yuki's life..." Mika said bitterly.

Tohma kept silent, not knowing what to say.

He simply sat down beside Mika and put his arm around her.

...............................................


	2. Goodbye Yuki

Hiro tip-toed inside the room.

He stopped on seeing Shuichi there, sleeping.

He was holding onto Yuki's hand and his head rested on the side of Yuki's hip.

Leaning in closer to look at Shuichi, Hiro sighed gently.

He had refused to leave Yuki's side since the first day.

Looking up at the man whom Shuichi refused to leave, his face hardened.

Yuki...

When Yuki was alive, he caused Shuichi misery...

Even now, hanging between life and death, he still caused Shuichi misery.

He didn't know which one he preferred but he knew something; Shuichi practically lived for Yuki.

If Yuki died...Shuichi...he would never be the same again.

The force of Gravitation...

Whatever strange forces which made Shuichi fall for Yuki wasn't going to fall apart that easily.

_Yuki watched as he floated gently beside Shuichi._

_He sighed and he gently stroked Shuichi's pink hair._

"_Dumb idiot...why don't you go home and rest?" he muttered as his hand passed through Shuichi._

_Looking down at his hand, he felt a sense of frustration and anger._

"_Why am I stuck here? Why?" he bellowed in anger, trying to slam his hand onto the bed but only managed to go through the bed._

_For 4 days, he had been stuck here in this hospital bed, reduced to floating alongside his human body._

_4 days of watching Shuichi slowly fall apart._

"_I'm not worth it, Shuichi...I can't be everything you want me to...I only cause you sadness...why do you love me so? I can't love you the way you love me..." Yuki whispered, his head in his hands, feeling the despair in heart._

"_Yet...you can't live without him..." a soft musical voice said._

"_Huh? Who said that?" Yuki asked, his eyes narrowed in suspicion as he looked around._

_The voice laughed and Yuki whipped around to see who was talking but he couldn't see anyone._

"_You can't see me...no use trying...Yuki...Eiri...you changed your name...a long long time ago...you took the name of your first love, Yuki...to punish yourself...for the sin you thought you committed...it has been a long time...it's a heavy burden to carry, Yuki...don't you think it's time to put down the load? And carry on with your life..." _

"_Who the hell do you think you are? You know NOTHING about me!" snarled Yuki, anger coursing through him._

"_Oh, on the contrary, I know everything about you...more than you wish to know...I know you love this little boy...Shuichi...you are afraid to admit it because you are afraid that once you let your feelings loose, you're afraid that he'll leave you...just like the time, Yuki left you...he made use of you and he left..."_

"_He didn't leave...he...died..." Yuki said, painfully._

"_It's time same thing, isn't it? In the end, it's still the same...Shuichi is willing to help you ease your burden but you always push him away...you're hoping he'd leave but you're afraid of being alone..."_

"_SHUT UP!" Yuki screamed, hating the voice, hating the way she seemed to read his heart._

"_Yuki, it's time to go back...it's time to let go...Shuichi's waiting for you..." the voice said softly._

"_Wait! What do you mean..." he started but then he felt a huge yank in his mid-session as if something or someone was yanking him._

"_Hey-!"_

"SAVE HIM! SAVE HIM!! YUKI!!" screamed Shuichi as he was restrained by Hiro and Suguru.

The doctors went about their work as calm as possible.

Yuki jerked once more as the doctors applied the shock on him.

The flat beeping on the machine could be heard throughout the room.

The doctors stopped working on him.

5 minutes...

5 goddamn minutes...

"I am sorry...I am afraid..." the doctor began.

"NO! NO! It's not possible! It's not!" Shuichi wailed.

Hiro stumbled as Shuichi pushed him aside.

Hiro tried to stop him but a sob escaped him as he watched Shuichi frantically shake Yuki.

"Yuki! Wake up! Wake up! You're scaring me! You stupid meanie! You jerk!" his disbelief turned to anger as he pounded on Yuki's chest.

"You can't leave! Not now! I still have so many songs to write for you...so many things I want to say...I want to...sob...to see you...sob...everyday...I want to...sob...be with you..." Shuichi cried, holding onto the silent Yuki.

His tears fell on the pillows and Shuichi couldn't see Yuki's face as the tears burned in his eyes.

"Aishiteru...sob Aishiteru, you jerk...aishisobteru..."

The silent room watched as the boy cried holding onto the dead man.

His whisper echoed around the room and his wails filled the room.

_Aishiteru, Yuki, aishiteru..._


	3. It Doesn't Matter

**Kitty in the Box- Dun worry! Let's just say that the spirit thingie was a good element!**

**Tigermink- Yup! The next chappie is up!! Hope you enjoy and pls R&R!**

**insanechildfanfic- Thank you for the compliment!**

**MC-88- think everyone is in for a surprise...and Yuki fans are going to be happy...**

* * *

The monitor suddenly beeped.

Everyone froze and looked at the heart monitor.

Was it...

Shuichi didn't even have time to register that fact before he was pushed aside by the team of doctors.

Unable to believe this change...this miracle, Shuichi simply slumped to the floor, feeling his legs go weak.

Was it...

Shuichi couldn't see anymore as he felt the world turn dark.

The next thing Shuichi knew, he saw white.

Where was he?

"Shuichi...you're awake..." Hiro said and Shuichi saw his face hover in front of him.

"Hiro..." he managed to croak out.

Then it hit him.

Yuki.

Yuki...

He got up, tired as he was.

Hiro tried to restrain him but Shuichi pushed him aside weakly.

"No...I have to see him..." Shuichi pleaded and Hiro's grip tightened and then he helped Shuichi up.

"C'mon..." he said simply, knowing that his words would be falling on deaf ears.

_Day after day_

_Time passed away _

_And I just can't get you off my mind _

_Nobody knows, I hide it inside _

_I keep on searching but I can't find _

Shuichi pressed his face against the cool glass, feeling the strength inside of him slipping away. He would have fallen if Hiro had not been holding onto him.

His breathe fogged up the glass and through the fog, he could see Yuki.

His Yuki...

Breathing.

He wasn't dead.

A sob escaped him as the relief washed over him.

It was so strong that he couldn't breathe for a while.

Hiro held him as he cried.

"I thought...I was going to lose Yuki..." he cried, gripping Hiro's shirt tightly.

"Hush...it's alright now...it's alright...everything's going to be fine..." he hoped.

Shuichi had finally fallen asleep.

Insisting that he wanted to be near Yuki, he had finally been allowed inside Yuki's room where Shuichi fell asleep on the couch.

He didn't wake up when he heard the soft groan escape from Yuki's lips.

He didn't see Yuki's fingers twitch as he moved slightly.

Yuki felt the pain hit him in the ribs.

Wincing, he let out a soft groan.

He felt as if a truck had hit him.

Damn, he cursed silently as he tried to open his eyes.

The bright harsh lights made him wince.

Beep...beep...beep...

What the hell was that annoying noise?

Turning his head slightly, he saw machines beeping and with those funny lines going up and down.

Was he hooked onto a machine?

He frowned slightly.

What the hell was going on?

Damn, he groaned again as the pain hit him.

He tried to call out but his throat wasn't working properly.

Damn, he cursed again but his eyes fluttered shut as sleep took him.

Yuki opened his eyes again.

How long had it been since he had been asleep?

Turning his head slightly, he saw the same old scene; white walls.

Wait...he wasn't hooked up to a machine!

Frowning, he tried to fight off the fogginess of his brain.

How long had he been asleep?

He didn't think that people simply hooked him on and off the machine for the fun of it.

"You're awake..." a soft voice said and Yuki turned around sharply, wincing at the pain.

"Be careful! Are you alright?" the voice asked, full of concern.

Yuki saw this woman leaning towards him, her brown hair falling over her shoulder.

Who was she?

Frowning at his lack of response, she waved a hand in front of him.

"I can see very well, thank you..." snapped Yuki.

"Ah, so you still have your sense of 'wittiness', she said sarcastically.

"Shut up..." he snarled, and bit his lip as the pain hit him again.

"Are you alright?" she asked again, touching his arm lightly.

"Hey!" Yuki said, his eyes flying open.

How dare this woman try to molest him?

"Who the hell are you and how did you get in? Damn, doesn't this place have security guards?" Yuki said angrily but the rest of his words were drowned when the woman screamed, literally.

"What do you mean by WHO AM I???"

"He's suffering from amnesia," the doctor said solemnly.

"Duh..." Mika said sarcastically and the doctor flushed at her tone.

"Mika..." Tohma said, putting a hand on her arm and she shut her mouth, glowering.

"Will he...remember us?" Tohma asked quietly.

"I am sorry but we cannot be sure. Amnesia is a strange condition. It may be temporary but it may be permanent too. Only time can tell. I suggest that you try to visit him and try to see whether he remembers you." The doctor said apologetically.

Shuichi couldn't believe this was happening.

First the accident, now this?

Would he remember Shuichi?

He was almost afraid to ask.

Reluctantly, he followed everyone inside the room.

Immediately he heard Yuki's shout.

"What the hell are all of you doing here? Oh, so you bought reinforcements?" he sneered at Mika.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, I wasn't trying to molest you!" Mika huffed, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Right..." he said sarcastically before turning to glare at the rest of the company.

A blond kid stood next to her.

He was wearing a hat and a suit that made him seem too solemn.

Playing dress-up, thought Yuki immediately.

Beside him was a guy with long brown hair wearing punk like clothes.

Never seen a barber, Yuki thought sourly.

A blond guy with equally long hair stood next to the door, leaning against it casually. Yuki's eyes nearly bulged when he realized that the guy was carrying a gun.

A GUN!

For heaven's sake, where did the security go???

"Go on, Shuichi! Go on! You wanted to see him, right? Hurry!" a voice said and the crowd was divided when a kid was pushed in front of the rest of them.

Yuki saw the pink hair and he sweat dropped.

Was this kid for real?

Shuichi was so afraid.

He could feel his heart hammering a thousand miles.

He didn't dare to look at Yuki.  
Would he recognize him?

He didn't want to raise his head and look at the golden eyes, which would look at him with no recognition.

"Hey, kid, you gonna stand there all day?" came the familiar waspish voice.

Shuichi's head whipped up, his violet eyes going round.

Yuki was unsettled when he saw the kid look up, his strange eyes wide, filled with tears.

"Hey, dun tell me you're gonna cry!" he said, feeling like shit when he saw the tears gather in the kid's eyes.

He didn't know why this kid affected him so.

He didn't even feel this way when that woman who tried to molest him cried.

The kid quickly wiped his eyes and he moved forward, his eyes full of determination.

Yuki felt uncertainty within as he took in his eyes.

The violet eyes...

The tear filled eyes...

The pink hair...

Where had he seen him?

But his thoughts flew out of the window and down to Hell when the kid opened his mouth and Yuki heard his words.

Shuichi stood in front of Yuki, his eyes full of determination.

Hearing Yuki's voice and his achingly familiar waspish words cleared his mind.

No matter what the doctor said, no matter what happened, no matter what others said, he was still Yuki.

The Yuki he loved and held dear.

It didn't matter if he forgot.

It was stupid to simply get disheartened about stuff like this.

It didn't matter if his memory loss was temporary...he would get his memories back again.

If it were permanent...then he would create new memories of them.

He couldn't think of a life without Yuki.

Without his rare smile, without his harsh words, without his sweet way of saying sorry by kissing him senseless, the way his hands worked magic on him, the way he made Shuichi cry bitterly...

Standing in front of his lover whom he missed heart achingly, he opened his mouth.

"My name is Shuichi Shindou. I am your lover and I am going to make you remember me."

_But if I let you go I will never know _

_What my life would be holding you close to me _

_Will I ever see you smiling back at me? _

_How will I know_

_if I let you go? _

_Night after night I hear myself say _

_Why can't this feeling just fade away _

_There's no one like you (no one like you) _

_You speak to my heart _

_It's such a shame we're worlds apart _


End file.
